Amyelia

Last night I indulged in a bit of socialisation; or, more rightly, my friend said ‘let’s go out’ and I said ‘yeah’. That is basically the extent of my social life when James isn’t around and was the extent of my social life before he even came into the picture. It would be some friend of mine telling me to go out with them and some of their other friends, who I wouldn’t know, and I’d obediently nod my head and go. Most of the time it was a mortifying experience; whereby my so-called friend would conveniently forget that they invited me, and I’d be left alone to mingle with people I probably had nothing in common with besides the vague connection of originating from the same continent. Those days are gone and will never ever come around again, if I can help it.

Lora, and her friend Caterina (who I guess is also my friend now), are the only two people I’ve socialised with on a proper level for a long time. There’s TAFE friends, and some of my other long-lost friends I always intend to catch up with but always seem to miss, but right now my social circle consists of Lora and Cat, and James – especially James. I’ve also noticed how self-absorbed I’ve become since I’ve taken to spending more time with myself. Yes, I’m probably self-absorbed all the time, but it’s even more apparent now. I don’t know whether Lora and Cat are starting to get sick of it but I’m sure my talking about James and our relationship constantly grows boring. My mouth, once it gets going, just doesn’t know how to stop. On the other hand, I am neither the only one who does it or the only one who is repeatedly guilty of it. But I guess maybe I should practice a little more discretion – it’s just that James is basically part of my life, in every way, so I can’t really leave him out of much. Maybe I should just stop talking about myself altogether – that’s harder than it sounds, but I am capable.

Their time will come and, once they’ve found partners, I’ll let them indulge in constant chatter about their significant other, and I’ll respond enthusiastically. Contrary to popular belief I am actually a good listener – I just might not want to admit that I’ve heard anything you’ve had to say if it doesn’t suit my purposes. I like to hear about other people’s lives – my own is far too boring, really.

Anyway, less than 48 hours until I see James now. After all the pent-up excitement I’ve let build up it feels kind of anti-climactic. But I’m 100% sure that that won’t be the case when we’re finally together…alone…in my bedroom. Cheers.

-Amyelia